“The words you speak become the house you live in.” ~ Hafiz
Here we are, day 366 of the outhouse, and just as I promised, there is a photo and entry for every day of leap year 2012. Few people stick to their resolutions, including me, but this…this became much more than a goal. It was a quest, a desperate and sometimes exhausting quest, like walking 20 miles, writing a book, quitting smoking, or losing weight.
You see, I was just going to take a picture a day for myself. I had no aspirations beyond that. Mary Carroll-Hackett said to blog them. The year before, Pete Poggione had loaded wordpress for me. He named it the outhouse. I didn’t use it. When I needed a blog, I thought the outhouse was hysterically funny, and pretty apropos of my personality, made funnier still by adding where art goes. Not everyone gets it. That in itself is pretty funny.
At the same time, I considered the state of my life. Two soul mates, Mamaw and Lance Hughes, had died in 2011 (out of my control). My job was in the toilet by no fault of my own (out of my control). And I had zero art or music in my life; a fate worse than death for creatives (in my control!). Depression and anxiety were extremely high. It was a conversation with Elaine Heis that convinced me that I was worth fighting for. In that moment I decided to seek only the positive people, places and things in my life for the pictures, and I would be grateful for at least one thing in every day. I was reading a lot of quotes at the time, on facebook of all places, and noticed that they made me feel a little better. Therefore, I would include a positive quote with each entry. The format was set.
Today, this grand experiment is over. I did what I set out to do: create 366 photos, one for every day of the year. In truth, I’ve amassed over 10,000 photographs this year. The right brain turned on alright, and the depression and anxiety lifted quickly, but I got so much more than I expected. Along the way the outhouse came to be inspirational for many other people, too. That I didn’t see coming. I get messages and meet people on the street who say they look forward to it every day; it gives them hope, the positive quotes speak to their hearts and make them feel better. The photographs have become secondary to the affirmations that life is okay, every single day, no matter how bad it may appear. That’s perfectly cool to me. In fact, it is perfect.
The little plaque in today’s photo is the last physical gift Mamaw gave me. It sits on my headboard. It’s the last thing I see when I turn out my light each night. People who mistreat you or steal your joy, negative actions and reactions, death, disaster, bad luck, soul sucking jobs, they’re all part of life and nothing you do will change that. It’s what you do with what you’re dealt that matters. It is the difference between happiness and despair. I believed this going into 2012. Now, standing at the other end, it has proven true. I listen to Mamaw: Before going to bed at night I give my troubles to God. Try it. If you don’t believe in God, you believe in something, even if it’s yourself. Lay your burdons down in sleep. Wake up determined to be happy. It’s your right.
Happy New Year, you wonderful people of planet Earth. I can’t quit the outhouse, I’m addicted. I will see you tomorrow, in 2013, and 1,000 blessings for seeing me through 2012.
Crystal Heis
So proud of you for accomplishing your goal. I know it’s been more about the journey rather than the destination. 🙂 Congratulations my friend.
kopana
Thanks for taking the journey with me! xoxo
Craig Barnes
Kopana
You are inspiration and a treasure. I look forward to each day in the Outhouse. Thanks for the daily lift. Love Ya!
kopana
YOU are an equal inspiration and treasure, dear Craig. Love you, too!
Carol Hart
It’s a wonderful thing, your talent, and to be so dedicated in the face of hardship and tragedy is uplifting and awe-inspiring. Thank you for sharing your gifts of wit, humor and intelligence. I’ve enjoyed your posts everyday and am honored to call you friend. Happy New Year to you, Carol (one of your many Okie admirers)
kopana
Bless you, Carol, for always being so unselfishly kind, funny, and equally inspiring. Much love and Happy New Year from your Kentucky admirer!
Elaine Heis
I had no idea Margarita Theraphy could be so powerful. All I know was I saw a tremendiously talented young woman who was self doubting. You make a difference in so many lives and I guess your blog has helped prove my point. All we can do in life is try to be the best person we can be and every once in awhile we touch someone in a way we don’t expect. We all make a difference. The hard part is trying to be one who makes a difference in a positive way. You my friend have that in SPADES. I am honored to call you my friend. Crystal, you, Reinette, (or Reinstate as fb seems to like to call her) and Crusoe the Celebrity Dachshund are the people/dog posts I know will put a smile on my face and a grin in my heart. I’m looking forward to tomorrow.
kopana
Your blessings and friendship transcend words, Elaine. Here’s to grabbing 2013 by the horns!
Maggie
Thanks to Elaine Heis for convincing Ko that “she” was fighting for, keep the Margarita Theraphy going. . . Look forward to The Outhouse daily, keep it going!! Much love and a prosperous 2013!!
kopana
I highly recommend Margarita therapy for anyone!!!! Much love to you, Maggs. 2013 is your year!
Kelly
What a journey..thank you for letting me ride along! You have inspired me every day to remember my blessings even though this difficult year made that a difficult feat at times.
I so admire your strength, your positive outlook, your beautiful view of life….and that fabulous sense of humor! Peace and joy and much love to you in 2013
kopana
The journey is made infinitely better with you at my side. 2013 is your year!!!!!! Much love.
Sobrina
Kopana- you are an inspiration to me. I know what it feels like when art & creativity are missing from my life, and it is stagnant- there is a void. In addition to my health resolution for 2013, I will take a cue from you regarding a creative outlet, too (I still need to mull over the details of what that means ;-). In the meantime, your blog entry for 12/31 reminds me of the “free will” we as humans have- we have to fight against the norms that society has created for us to realize our freedom and free will to BE HAPPY- I love that this is what you found in 2012 and will continue to find on your journey into the new year. I’m so glad you have become my family. Many blessings. All my love,
Sobrina
kopana
No one is luckier to have a niece like you than ME! Be happy – always. I can’t wait to see what you make in 2013. All love and light back to you. ~ Tia Dos