“Be kind to unkind people. They need it most.” ~ Unknown
My brain translated this as “Movie Prep”. Oh, how I wish. The box would be filled with delicious buttered popcorn, Coca-Cola, Raisenettes, and a ticket to the latest Bond film. Instead, it’s filled with sodium stuff I can’t pronounce, and a list of possible side effects that I wish I’d never read. It’s just not a good idea to tell me that I *might* unwittingly drink myself into seizures or a heart attack. Besides, I eat enough spinach that it wouldn’t take much to give myself diarrhea without also starving and defiling my taste buds like I’m being forced to do with this nasty stuff. Never the less, I’m looking on the bright side. This is temporary discomfort, and others’ colonoscopy stories keep me in good humor; like waking up during the procedure, looking at the screen, and saying, “Hey, it’s like Fantastic Voyage!” Or just after the last poop “spritzer” exclaiming, “This house is clean!” in the voice of the little psychic woman from Poltergeist. Since they’re also performing an endoscopy – as one friend put it, “You’ll [me] be like a pig on a spit” – they’re going all Michael Jackson and knocking me out with Propofol. I’ve been assured that, unlike poor Michael, I will be carefully monitored. Of course, I plan to take along my camera and shoot for as long as they’ll allow. In the meantime, say a little prayer that I don’t wake up screaming obscenities. It would be so impolite.
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