“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.” ~ Kurt Vonnegut
21st century candid camera
It was a fun time. No, seriously, it was. It started when Stacy Yelton picked me up and we drove through every parking lot around the hospital, sometimes twice, until we found just the right spot to park.
That was followed by the bleach blond receptionist with long black nails and a shirt so tight I don’t know how she got it buttoned. She was fascinated with my name, complained that she’d missed a call for a job (she’s trying to leave UK, apparently), and regaled me with stories of her motorcycle and wardrobe.
Next came my very kind prep nurse Terry Lynn (below), who marveled at the similarities in our names – my middle name is Lynn. Incidentally, so was the receptionist’s, but she used it as her first name because her real first name is so hideous. I didn’t ask. Anyway, Uber-sweet nurse Terry gave me my “moon pants”. Yes, they’re really called moon pants. “The flap opens in the back,” Terry said, rolling her eyes.
Then came Dr. Deborah Auer-Flomenhoft (below). Every doctor should be this cool. When I asked if I could take her picture, one of the nurses started to object when Dr. Auer-Flomenhoft said, “Hey, HIIPA only applies to her. If she wants a picture, she can have it!” My hero! After all, she’d just taken pictures of me from the inside, why not take something from the outside for a complete set? Although, the expression on her face seems to say, “She’s still high on Propofol. I hope this picture is good because her blog post could get really weird.”
I met the anesthesiologist and his assistant. The latter looked just like my friend Scott McClatchy 20 years ago. I’m sure he wondered why I was staring. I never told him why. I just stared. Meanwhile, the anesthesiologist asked where I was from. When I said West Liberty, he rattled off names of people I might know, and of course, I had gone to school with them. Turns out, he went to college with them. Then, my parents made a surprise appearance in recovery since they were in town for Dad’s appointment at VA. It was like old home day in my room. The nurses, and there were many, just looked stunned. I don’t reckon they see jolly people at their jobs very often. Let me tell ya, we were a jolly bunch, start to finish.
Finally, against everyone’s recommendation, Stacy took me to Frische’s for a Big Boy, fries, Coke, and hot fudge cake. I hadn’t had anything since yesterday and, dangit, I earned those calories!
How many people do you know who would have this much fun at a hospital? You know at least one.
before and after
4 Responses
You are to cool!! Love this, sounds like everything went well!!
Only you my sista, could have fun at the hospital!!! Love ya, and I am so very thankful all is well!!!!
Ya know, life is hard enough. I figure we gotta go at it smiling and being as happy as possible. Otherwise, it would be too dreary for words. Besides, being happy is infectious!
Very True!!!